Crazy Much?
by Emeli Thorne
Summary: Sons of Anarchy Season 7 One Shot: Gemma talks to Tara's ghost. But this time, Tara has something to say to Gemma too. ON HIATUS!


Hi there :D Since we've been bombarded with scenes in which Gemma talks to Tara and acts all friendly, I just wanted to write a oneshot where Tara actually answers her, or rather pokes at Gemma's guilty conscience.

Dedicated to **Susie GreeneChristmas** from Facebook group for Sons of Anarchy fanfiction, since she was the one who wanted to read something related to this. I hope you like it and that I didn't disappoint you too much :D

Sorry for possible typos and mistakes.

**Word Count: 1449**

**Crazy Much?**

As she drew in another smoke, Gemma looked outside the window of the diner.

-"Fucking pussy. He didn't even have the courage to pull the trigger." she murmured.

-"And yet, he was your hero when he shot Eli and covered up what you did to me." Tara replied mockingly, leaning against the booth and stretching her arms at either side of it.

Gemma turned abruptly, her breathing stopping for a few seconds before she recovered.

-"Oh, baby. You know I didn't mean to. I was wrong. I thought-" Gemma started excusing herself before Tara interrupted her.

-"You thought what?" Tara challenged -"That you'll save your son by killing me?"

Tears pooled in Gemma's eyes, her hands shaking. She took another smoke, not meeting Tara's gaze full of loathing.

-"I thought I was doing what's best for my family."

Tara laughed. The icy laughter resonated Gemma's body, sending cold shivers through her bones.

Tara leaned forward, her voice low.

-"Leaving my sons motherless? My husband heartbroken? That's what's best for them? Oh, Gemma" - said Tara, her voice becoming louder and louder with every word she spoke- "They are **MY** family! **My** sons! **My** husband! They are not yours to protect them! I was the one who was doing everything I could to save them!"

She was now screaming at Gemma who wanted to get up, but the force of Tara's voice and gaze pinned her to her seat. She looked, _felt_ scared like never before in her life.

Did she really deserve this? Was Tara right? Of course Jax and the boys were her family. They were everything she had. How could Tara say those things?

She lifted her finger, pointing it at Tara.

-"By taking them away from their father?! How is that protecting them?"

She tried to sound confident in her words, tried to make Tara feel ashamed for wanting to destroy her family, just like Wendy did all those years ago.

-"I was taking them away from you! You're a poison! A sorry excuse for a mother, a sorry excuse for a wife, a sorry excuse for a woman! Everything you touch falls to pieces!"

Gemma wanted to slap Tara for even daring to speak to her that way, for yelling at her. And yet, something in her stirred. An acidy taste in her mouth was making her want to puke. She felt sick. Her head was throbbing, making her dizzy. It was hard to concentrate or say anything.

The image of dead Tara lying on the cold kitchen floor, blood pooling around her head flashed through her mind.

She could still feel the handle of the kitchen fork in her hand, the way it went in and out of Tara's head creating holes. With each stab, pieces of her brain stayed on the fork, some of it ending up on Gemma's clothes. She could still sense the force with which she held it, the feeling of taking Tara's life.

And later, when Eli said Tara wasn't a rat... Her throat burned with screams that had to die out because there was no way she would let them out. Her chest constricted so tightly, she thought she might choke from the lack of oxygen. Her heart was beating like crazy; Gemma feared she might actually die herself, right there, next to Tara's lifeless body.

Her eyes burned with unshed tears, like they were eating away at her eyeballs. She rubbed her eyes ferociously in an in vain attempt to get rid of the feeling.

-"I'm sorry, Tara. I'm sorry, baby." Gemma cried, sobbing. She leaned her head on her hands, her fingers massaging her throbbing temples.

-"I was wrong. It's all my fault."

Tara leaned and gently brushed the bangs out of her face. The she continued to stroke her hair.

-"Oh, poor Gemma. Always the victim."

Tara grabbed Gemma's hair and pulled at it with a vengeance, making Gemma yelp in pain.

-"You think a sorry will make everything right? You always do what you want, never minding about the consequences. Isn't that what happened to John?"

-"Tara-"

-"You killed him because he didn't want you. You killed him because you were greedy for power. Because if he had left you, you would've been a nobody. A pathetic old lady left with nothing."

-"That's not true. I loved John."

Gemma managed to say.

-"Liar! You killed an innocent man because you couldn't bear to let him be happy, away from your evil and misery. You made his best friend betray him. You let your son grow up without his father. And you dared question John's state of mind and the doubts he had about the club."

-"Tara, please..."Gemma begged, and Tara finally let go of her hair. Though Gemma wasn't

pleading because of physical but rather emotional pain.

Her conscience was nagging at her, making her relive those moments.

She did feel guilty when she coerced Clay into tampering with John's bike. But at that time, there was no other way. John would have left her. He already had another family with that Irish bitch, the fact she found out only few years ago.

She left everything and became his old lady, gave him two beautiful boys. He only needed to provide them money. So what if the club sold guns? Not like they were the only ones doing it.

What would have been of her, if John had left the club and her? She couldn't risk being left on the street.

Luckily, Clay was there. If was fairly easy convincing him to do what needs to be done in order to protect the club.

-What about Piney? Don't you realise that everything Clay did is your fault too. Have you no remorse?"

-"Stop. Stop it."

Gemma couldn't listen to her anymore. Not when she herself started judging herself, revising her past actions.

-"Why would I?" Tara continued, smiling bitterly at Gemma. She seemed to be enjoying torturing her.

-"You didn't stop when you stabbed me. You just kept stabbing and stabbing. You let my children be raised by whores and croweaters. You let them live in that shithole surrounded by guns, drugs, and violence. You let Wendy, a junkie who couldn't wait to get high not five minutes after I practically gave her a chance to help Abel after so many fuck ups, take care of Thomas? You let her play a mother to him? That is supposed to be me! I'm supposed to tuck my children to bed! I'm supposed to feed them and care for them!"

Gemma hit her palm against her head repeatedly, trying to get rid of the ache in her head, trying to repel Tara away from her.

-"Why don't you try to knock some sense into Jax? Make him see that his priority lies with his children? Why don't say that revenge and retaliation is not something I would want? Instead, you lied. And you are still lying. To yourself, to Jax, to my kids. Have you any idea how many people died because of you? Their blood is not just on Jax's hands. It's on yours too."

-"Stop. Please stop."

-"How many more have to day for you to quench your thirst for blood?"

-"Stop. Stop it!"

Gemma begged.

-"I will make sure you don't have a good night sleep for the rest of your life. I will torture you. I will remind you of every single mistake you made. I will count the days until you go craaaazy."

She dragged on the 'a' as to emphasize her intention.

I'll see that you suffer for everything that you did, every sin you committed. And it won't be just me. "

Gemma looked at her petrified, and in the blink of an eye, Clay and John appeared next to Tara.

They were deathly pale, her clothes drenched with blood.

Clay spoke first, followed by John.

-"Why, Gemma? Why did you betray me?"

Soon they spoke in unison, their voices becoming louder and louder and louder. Gemma screamed, closing her eyes hitting and the table with her fists as hard as she could, shaking her head like a lunatic.

-"Stop it! STOP IT!"

The voices ceased and she opened her eyes. Looking around the diner, she saw that every eye was on her. People eyed her like she lost her mind. She glanced around, looking for Tara, Clay and John, but they weren't there.

Her makeup was smudged as tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving black traces of mascara.

Her heart pounded against her chest she could hear it in her head. She stood up and ran from the diner, the door closing behind her with a loud thump.

(Feel free to comment to tell me what you think. :D)


End file.
